New York Ave. Presbyterian Church

After speaking at the Christian Peace Witness for Iraq, I was invited to speak at the New York Avenue Presbyterian Church in Washington D.C.

AI Generated Transcript

I had a speech prepared for tonight um I had 5 minutes to get it I spent about a week and a half getting it down to 5 minutes um and when I got to the cathedral today um I just finished off cuz it was kind of sketchy and I didn't really like it when I was struck by something and I realized now that I'm not supposed to share it um there was a train of events that that made me realize that um I'm not a speaker I'm not really even a writer but I really like to be a Storyteller so tonight uh hopefully I won't be too over 5 minutes but I'll share you share with you this story real quick um I just finished writing this or finished completing this speech and um I was supposed to meet CU I just spoken in the The Worship You probably saw me on um and I I went into the Chapel where all the other participants were getting ready to go and I just didn't I wasn't comfortable I walked out tried to find some time and I hadn't eaten all day and a lot of things were going on um and I was wondering you know maybe I should maybe I should just kind of speak from the heart and everything and so I sat down in front of the not sure what it's called the the stand of candles and as I was walking in I saw um a some kind of Fresco with Jesus standing there and there's a soldier laying against the steps and it's um after he rose from the the garden tomb and I was struck by the soldier so I've been dealing with uh just War pacifism for a long time and how do I put myself uh what do I do with that and uh I realized I remembered something and this is what I hope to share with you the thermostat presentation I don't know if they planned this but that was kind basically my story um I had been in the Army for six 5 years at the time I went to Iraq in 20 4 stayed all that year and into 2005 I came back and decided that if I was really going to be a Christian not a Believer but a follower that I couldn't kill someone and that was my job for 6

years so I submitted my conscien objective packet um and what caught a lot of people's ey that I didn't request discharge I got a few arguments from several people who agreed with me but felt that I was supposed to get out and I told them after five plus years in the military I've seen the life that soldiers lead back here in the states and in War I joined before the Usso was bomb in Yemen before the towers um and I felt that Christ's call to love one another is stronger than his call to withdraw or separate and I felt that in the military I could really provide that witness for for real love so I I requested to be a non-combatant but more than that because of my own job I also told them that I wasn't going to carry a weapon anymore that I wanted to go to Iraq but the best way to wage peace wasn't with a weapon um and as a result of that I was I was diagnosed with mental disorder I was crazy because I was ready to die for something imagine that um but I I I essentially after a long list of things that I wish didn't happen I wish I could have gone to Iraq they reassigned me and told me that I was medically undeployable that was crazy um and I watched my unit leave and that was one of the hardest days of my life because I knew that God was calling me to the Middle East I knew he was calling me back to war to not to wage as the world does but to wage the spiritual battle without temporal weapons um and I watched my leave and I I still had this real heart to get back to Iraq um and I I'd known about CPT for some time and I kind of threw in an application and uh they weren't going to Iraq at that time but Israel had just started bombing Lebanon so I figured that would be a good place to go um so I submitted my application and um amidst a little bit of confusion from a couple of the organizers getting a request from an active duty Soldier um I finally got in and and by any account of mine I think it was a miracle that I just got to go but I got to Israel um and while I was in Hebron um in the South um I had a uh pretty interesting Revelation um in heon it's a pretty militarized city it's one of the the most occupied of the most uh you you see the most IDF soldiers there and the more I saw these Soldiers the more I I felt really like I I felt contempt for them I wanted to find every reason for them doing something wrong there formations were loose they they weren't paying attention to was whatever it was I wanted to hate them and someone asked me after we walked through this one Patrol and also saw quite a few je settlers with weapons pushing baby characteres which reminded me of some chance we did in the military and yet here are these religious settlers that felt it necessary to carry a weapon in front of their child um I I felt especially a strange as we walk through this military Patrol and weapon for point at us uncertainly and uh I saw something in their solders eyes I didn't recognize at first but it was it was there like I knew something was there and uh we got back to the CPT Department in nebron I was talking with a couple of team members and just kind of out of my mouth through this phrase that I knew had already been said in my heart that I had totally rejected I it was almost as if it had to leave my mouth for me to hear it with my heart I said I see myself in them and as soon as I said that I realized that I haven't forgiven myself that I haven't gotten the opportunity or I haven't taken the opportunity to really feel forgiveness and to offer offer or ask for forgiveness so I did a lot of crying that day I wrote it down there's a pretty interesting journal entry that uh I'd love I'll share with you at the end or a way to read it um and I realized why God wanted me in Israel um I'm still trying to get back into the I'm in the inactive ready Reserve they're probably going to call me up at any moment to go redeploy with the surge that's going back and I I'll would go in a minute um I tell him the same thing though send me right now as soon as quick quick but uh you won't see a weapon in my hand um and I realized also before I leave I want to suggest three things or ask three things um because as as I have shared this for months they always ask applicability what do we do with this um what I realized is that soldiers aren't the enemy our political adversaries aren't the enemy um our war is never against people it's about that estrangement that that rejection that people feel the same rejection and uncertainty and fear and anxiety that I felt and that I saw in this IDF solders eyes and that's what broke my heart and that's why I still feel called to the military I still want to be in if I can't be in I'll put myself as close to a military base as I can um but just for applicability I'll close really quick um I also like to say if uh I have all my journal entries posted and all the the documentation that I got from my co packet if you want to find me or my beautiful girlfriend Tracy we have I have a business cards or whatever you want to call them I call them coward cards kind of fun story um and that'll have my story and just my thoughts and everything I'll make sure I post this speech which was a awesome speech by all accounts um that I really wish like the red but God was pretty clear um I'd like to ask three things and the first is if you don't know someone in the military personally someone who is in the military reserves National Guard anything Marines if you know someone that is in Iraq or Afghanistan Somalia wherever we have GRS right now take the time and write them a letter handwritten not typ offer them some kind of gift not monetarily just something that's personal something you think they need not necessarily a Bible they have a lot of those out there they just don't take the time to read them um but send them a letter and just remind them that that you're not against them you're not against the Iraqis you're not even really against the government but you are for human beings and you want to offer their your support your emotional spiritual any kind of support you can to the human being that's there and the second thing I'd like you to do is include another en inside that envelope and address it to an unnamed Iraqi and asked them to hand it to them with the exact same message and the third thing is to wake up tomorrow and think of one more thing that you can do to wage peace instead of wake up have breakfast and forget you came tonight but a lot of you guys are getting arrested so [Applause]