Josh Kaufman, 'Freedom from Fear'

hey man, sorry about that huge delay. things have been a rollercoaster every day since PAPA/DC...

if i recall my initial thoughts correctly, i felt as though FtF was essentially an organization based on a critique of another. i felt this way as i was reading the pamphlet you gave me at PAPA. i was surprised because i felt this as i was reading it that day, it wasn’t developed over time. i vaguely remember that i stopped counting the times that "CPT" occurred in the pamphlet once i hit double digits or something. i was concerned primarily that it is difficult to develop a new organization based upon criticisms of another. i apologize that i posted that idea publicly, that wasn’t very considerate of me. i did not realize the discourteousness of that action until you emailed me, it wont happen again. now, granted FtF may be no such organization, those thoughts were simply the first that struck me.

in DC, i think i suggested my deeper concerns; it seems... unnatural, i guess, to solicit people to quite obviously put themselves in harms way. CPT does not seem to do this, but they come very close. the obvious difference is that they have an ongoing presence, while FtF seems to be based on reaction to world events. it seems as though its members would be actively seeking out threatening situations. i could be wrong, i do not fully grasp the mission of FtF, i am only basing this on my limited understanding of the organization. that being said, i totally feel you on being on the front lines of the spiritual battle that rages everyday around us, transparent to everyone but those who have learned how to open their eyes to it. however, i believe very much in spiritual vocation, and that is why i could never ask someone to join me in my escapades, wherever they lead me. i feel drawn to the middle east, and in direct unarmed conflict, because i have contributed to direct conflict for 6 years now. i believe God has called me to that area to, in a way, right the wrongs i helped perpetuate against those people.

i have seen visions and dreamed dreams, but i would not assume that others are prepared in the same way i am to give my life in sacrifice to Him. i would discourage anyone who wished to join me out of simple adventurousness because God has to lead them, i cannot. it has to be something deeper than charity or morbid curiosity. i can only judge that in myself, so i would never suggest anyone follow my path. it is all about seeking and pursuing God in the path he has laid out for me. if you asked me to go to columbia, id probably respectfully decline because i am not drawn there, it is a personal journey that i must receive from God.

I’m not sure if this is making any sense, but in a nutshell, i agree with what you feel lead to do, but i disagree with developing it into a recruiting campaign. people who may not even know their own weakness and frailty may not know what they are getting themselves into, and if i were in your shoes, would be afraid for what i would be leading them to. i look forward to your response, and please forgive me if i have come off too harshly. May God bless you and keep you, and may His will be done.

in agape,

lucky